October 28, 2008

the run away child...

yesterday morning started out PERFECT. chad & i got up early, got dressed, had a devotional together, started breakfast & then the boys woke up. we ate as a family & then chad headed off to save the world. (that is what he tells the boys he's doing all day! ha)
its 8:15
its 8:30
its now 8:40 & kaden is still not dressed
finally at 8:55 we are walking out the door.

i didn't have time to take him to the actually school because he messed around this morning. we had 5 minutes before school started, so i drove him to the end of the street where we have gone most mornings since school started in september. when i say the end of our street - its really close - less than 3 minutes walk, i can see it from the end of our driveway. he got out of the car, walks a little way & then starts crying. he wanted me to walk the rest of the way with him but i couldn't because brock & my niece was in the car. we talked & he calmed down for a few seconds. he knew this was his only option - go to school.

he started to walk towards his school & i drove off. i usually don't do this. i normally stay and watch him walk all the way to the school doors, but today i wanted him to know i was serious & that he had to go to school.

i'm in my car driving the short distance home, i look in my rear view mirror & there is kaden running. he is running home! i was furious! i had a strong talk with him & told him that he is suppose to be at school not home. so he will not be coming inside until 11:30, when i would pick him up. so he sat on the front porch all morning.

i know many of you are thinking how could i. that is so mean. what a horrible mother i am for doing such a thing. you don't need to write me a mean comment - i already feel bad enough. but i needed to do something, letting him come in would not have taught him a lesson. but you can leave a comment on what you do with a VERY strong willed child. time-outs don't work. spanking him doesn't either. its just been in the last month & a half that he has gotten worse at home. at church - there is never any problem with him. at school - he's perfect. he told me that he just wants to be bad at home. I NEED HELP! and your PRAYERS too please! i just need & want things to change.


Patch of Flowers said...

We, too, have a strong willed first born and we've had to be creative and come up with drastic measures also. I've heard, from a Christian psychologist, to put your strong willed child in the garage or outside the back door when they are pitching a huge screaming fit and ignore them - no matter how long it lasts but not allow them inside the house. All in the name of teaching them they cannot control everything!
It's a long road but someday, we will be so thankful for those strong willed decisive decisions these children make as teenagers and young adults!

Monika said...

Its hard to say what to do. My opinion is that you are doing it right. If he is great at church and at school then he is listening to you. So you are raising him to be respectful to adults and do as he should. So that is great! At home you might could do some sort of a daily incentive. Like rewarding him with 30 min of tv or 30 min of uninterrupted game time with you or things like that. I have had parents at school do that and they say it really worked. Just an idea.

Summer said...

HA HA. Sorry but that hilarious. Hope your day got better. I love this picture.

The Bray Family said...

Misty, you are NOT a horrible mother! You are doing an awesome job, just hang in there. I promise if you make it through this part it gets easier for a while (and then they become teens and it gets hard in different ways!)
With that said, this picture is adorable. It is cute to think that as mad as you were, you would go get the camera and take a picture of him sitting there. Its got to make you smile a little....now!
Anyways, thanks for keeping your blog REAL. Asking for prayer is the best thing you can do! We all need to be praying for each other! Parenting is not easy but it sure is worth it :)

Anonymous said...

The positive is that he feels secure enough to know he can be "bad" at home. When Zane was little and we were at the same school, he would see me and not want to go back to his class. I made him a "penny card" It has the behavior he is working on at the top. Like "when you see me you can give me a hug then go back to class". And his reward at the bottom, he loved the dollar tree. Then 5 velcro spots for the pennies. He could earn 1 each day, but he had to go to class EACH time he saw me. 5 days 5 pennies. It only took 1 friday of NOT going to the DT and he understood.
Make the behavior what you want to see. Like gentle hands instead of no hitting. You can reward as many times a day for the behavior when you catch him "being good" and give a short reward each time he has earned the 5 pennies.